And if learning to love oneself was the best way to get out of an unhealthy jealousy?
Jealousy is above all a lack of self-confidence. To think that one does not deserve to be loved can lead to destructive behavior with the more or less unconscious purpose of causing the loved one to flee. Speaking to a professional may sometimes be the best way to better manage your feelings.
How to learn to love each other?
To think that the beloved can deceive us or take an interest in someone else actually translates the idea that we are not good enough for him or that he needs to go elsewhere. that we can not bring him. It is these negative thoughts that only reinforce the lack of self-confidence and jealousy.
To break this vicious circle, it is important to remember why your partner loves you, and why he chose you. In this way, you are confident enough to let go and focus on the happiness of your couple.
How to learn to let go?
To love does not mean to belong. Even if you both decide to be in a relationship and love each other, neither of you can control the actions of your partner. On the contrary, putting yourself in the other person's shoes allows him to respect his freedom and, above all, to trust him.
Letting go does not mean that you have to accept everything. Talking about each other's limits also helps define a space of freedom, and especially respect between you.
How to learn to trust?
The last step to cure an unhealthy jealousy remains trust, both in one's partner, but also in oneself. After you have agreed on the rules to follow, it is up to you now to take the risk of being betrayed, trusting the loved one.
Learning to trust and trust each other often requires many years of psychological work on oneself, sometimes even with the help of a therapist. If you feel the need, do not hesitate to get help from a psychologist.
- "The love jealousy" of Anne Clotilde ZIEGLER, published by Broché.
- "Understanding and heal jealousy" Patrick-Ange Raoult, editions Broché.